Music

I love being able to sing. The past few weeks I've experienced daily the agony of not being able to and the joy of doing so. Morning Prayer (& Mass) around 7:30 has been horrible for me. I've had phlegm in my throat, I've found higher notes impossible to hit, and I don't have any volume. It's almost a spiritual desolation not being able to sing.

But then Evening Prayer (& Mass) comes along, as today, and my voice hits all the notes, and the joy of singing is inexpressible.

Music plays a pretty large role in my life, I've noticed, and not just because I get it daily in the Liturgy of the Hours and Mass. Putting on a CD or the radio in my room or car when I'm alone is natural going on the Internet, and I have a growing tendency to hum or sing (at varying volumes) when I'm walking alone, either in the hallways here or to and fro at Concordia. Most of these hummed/sung tunes tend to be religious in nature, typically something from Mass or prayer that morning, and they connect me in an interesting way to my faith throughout the day, as well as generally leaving me in a cheerier mood.

I've also noticed that my vocational mood will shift depending on the type of song in my head, though whether as a result or a cause thereof I do not know. Classic pieces, Latin chants, and hymns--not surprisingly--tend to boost my priestly yearnings, while more secular songs (often, but not always, Country) tend to put me into a more wistful, "what if" sort of a mood. It's interesting to note, though, that though there's a wistfulness, it's sort of a half-hearted wistfulness, as if it would hurt much more if I actually wanted some other vocation.

Today the song in my head has been "Panis Angelicus", the more or less most famous version. Pablo had Andrea Bocelli's version playing on the way to Concordia, and it's now pretty much stuck. I'm trying to coerce it out by playing other songs, but I'm having little success.