I am not dead.
I am just not online.
I have moved out of the seminary, and am currently living at a rectory with a bunch of priests.
I have no computer, and consequently no internet.
I am supposed to be at work right now.
Still on crutches.
More on the weekend.
Maybe.
Tuesday, June 19, 2007
Monday, June 04, 2007
100 Posts in Review
Well, my original plan had been to do my 100 post memorial on the 100th post proper... but I also wanted to write about a GOOD weekend for a change... so I decided to look at 100 posts in review. It is also close to the one-year mark since I registered "Formendacil" at Blogspot, so one could also call this a "year in review" sort of a post.
Quite frankly, I doubt I'd've made it to 100 posts were it not for the fact that I broke my leg. That completely turned my summer around, gave me far more free time as well as boredom, and prompted a lot more posting in the past six weeks. And, doing the math, at just under a year, 100 posts means that I've been posting, to average the year, at close to one post every three days.
(Nowadays, if it takes me three days to do a new post, that's a dry spell...)
Looking back, particularly over the past few weeks, I'm not really sure how happy I am with all my posts. Quite a lot of them are ones that, even as I'm hitting "Publish" don't really strike me as well-written, and certainly don't strike me as having any real reason to be written, other than the fact that I wanted to.
Now, since my self-avowed purpose for this blog is as much to entertain myself as it is anything else, that shouldn't be a problem... but it is. I've got a clearcut case of authorial egotism, certainly. I like to have readers, and I like to know what the reader thinks. And then I'll go ahead and write whatever I want anyway... but I still like knowing.
In fact, I have to wonder if I'd be able to write this much if I didn't have an audience. Attempts at journaling in the past, even when mandated by Mom in school, never managed to catch--even though I loved writing and I like being able to read memories at a later date. Something about an audience is necessary, which is true about most writing with me. The reason I write LEGO stories may be that I want them written, but they wouldn't get very far without various younger siblings to read them to eventually. That's also an advantage that RPGing has: even when I don't feel like writing, the fact that there's a waiting audience can be incentive enough to make me compose even when I'm lazy and would rather not. (Now, mind you, this is not as strong an incentive as I'd sometimes like, since I still procrastinate horridly on the 'Downs, but imagine me otherwise...)
Looking at the future, I don't foresee a drop off in blogging anytime soon. Certainly, for the rest of the summer my current rate seems a very likely possibility, and though I'm sure I'll slow down for the fall, a pace akin to last semester seems probable. Certainly, I don't foresee this blog dying any time in the next six years or so...
But in about six years or so I'll be ordained a deacon (assuming that God continues pushing me in that direction), and a year later a priest.
What then?
I'm not sure why I'm concerned about this... but I'm not sure how much I'll write, here or anywhere online, about what's really going on in my head. I already have this mental block about lots of people I know in real life (well, other seminarians anyway...) reading these posts--hence why there is no cross-posting to Facebook, as well as no linking there. And while this may just be an odd idiosyncrasy at the moment (the only thing I've really written that I should maybe have kept to myself has been a rant on a situation on the Barrow-downs, and Barrow-downers are the majority of the people who know this site), but when I'm a priest there will be good reason to consider NOT publishing my opinions in a public venue.
After all, when I'm a priest the majority of my posts will deal with my day-to-day life, the life of my parish. When someone seems a bit funny to me, or there's something that makes me rant a little, or I have a disagreement that ruins my week, the odds are high that it will involve my parishioners somehow. Quite frankly, I don't think I'd be able to vent here, knowing that a Google search (or whatever people are using in 2020 to search) for "Michael A. Joosten" will turn up this site (this and the Barrow-downs and Classic-Castle... and I haven't actually done a search lately, so I don't know what else... but just me, basically).
Mind you, that is quite a few years into the future, but I am nothing if not a worrier in advance.
Quite frankly, I doubt I'd've made it to 100 posts were it not for the fact that I broke my leg. That completely turned my summer around, gave me far more free time as well as boredom, and prompted a lot more posting in the past six weeks. And, doing the math, at just under a year, 100 posts means that I've been posting, to average the year, at close to one post every three days.
(Nowadays, if it takes me three days to do a new post, that's a dry spell...)
Looking back, particularly over the past few weeks, I'm not really sure how happy I am with all my posts. Quite a lot of them are ones that, even as I'm hitting "Publish" don't really strike me as well-written, and certainly don't strike me as having any real reason to be written, other than the fact that I wanted to.
Now, since my self-avowed purpose for this blog is as much to entertain myself as it is anything else, that shouldn't be a problem... but it is. I've got a clearcut case of authorial egotism, certainly. I like to have readers, and I like to know what the reader thinks. And then I'll go ahead and write whatever I want anyway... but I still like knowing.
In fact, I have to wonder if I'd be able to write this much if I didn't have an audience. Attempts at journaling in the past, even when mandated by Mom in school, never managed to catch--even though I loved writing and I like being able to read memories at a later date. Something about an audience is necessary, which is true about most writing with me. The reason I write LEGO stories may be that I want them written, but they wouldn't get very far without various younger siblings to read them to eventually. That's also an advantage that RPGing has: even when I don't feel like writing, the fact that there's a waiting audience can be incentive enough to make me compose even when I'm lazy and would rather not. (Now, mind you, this is not as strong an incentive as I'd sometimes like, since I still procrastinate horridly on the 'Downs, but imagine me otherwise...)
Looking at the future, I don't foresee a drop off in blogging anytime soon. Certainly, for the rest of the summer my current rate seems a very likely possibility, and though I'm sure I'll slow down for the fall, a pace akin to last semester seems probable. Certainly, I don't foresee this blog dying any time in the next six years or so...
But in about six years or so I'll be ordained a deacon (assuming that God continues pushing me in that direction), and a year later a priest.
What then?
I'm not sure why I'm concerned about this... but I'm not sure how much I'll write, here or anywhere online, about what's really going on in my head. I already have this mental block about lots of people I know in real life (well, other seminarians anyway...) reading these posts--hence why there is no cross-posting to Facebook, as well as no linking there. And while this may just be an odd idiosyncrasy at the moment (the only thing I've really written that I should maybe have kept to myself has been a rant on a situation on the Barrow-downs, and Barrow-downers are the majority of the people who know this site), but when I'm a priest there will be good reason to consider NOT publishing my opinions in a public venue.
After all, when I'm a priest the majority of my posts will deal with my day-to-day life, the life of my parish. When someone seems a bit funny to me, or there's something that makes me rant a little, or I have a disagreement that ruins my week, the odds are high that it will involve my parishioners somehow. Quite frankly, I don't think I'd be able to vent here, knowing that a Google search (or whatever people are using in 2020 to search) for "Michael A. Joosten" will turn up this site (this and the Barrow-downs and Classic-Castle... and I haven't actually done a search lately, so I don't know what else... but just me, basically).
Mind you, that is quite a few years into the future, but I am nothing if not a worrier in advance.
Sunday, June 03, 2007
The Weekend
For the first time in about four weeks or so, I had a weekend that I didn't approach dreading, and which I can actually say I enjoyed. Or, in other words, for the first time in four weeks I wasn't bored stiff all weekend. It really does help to plan ahead. Half the problem on past weekends was that by the time I thought about the fact that I was going to be bored silly... it was sometime Saturday morning, and I was drifting into extreme lethargy--that point of being so bored and cranky that you won't do anything but moan about it.
This weekend, however, I planned ahead Friday afternoon and booked myself for a couple considerable chunks of the weekend.
Saturday morning I got up nice and late, late enough that I really just had time to get myself running before it was off to my uncle's for the afternoon. I didn't actually do much there during the afternoon... I read the newspaper, had lunch, chatted a bit with my uncle, and played with my five-year-old cousin, and was then back at the seminary just before supper.
Supper was followed by two episodes of the Simpsons, since it was far too early to retire to my room and sit at the Internet, and that meant I was on site when everyone turned up to watch the Senators game. It was a good game, with the Senators winning 5-3, and fortunately not getting kicked out of the Stanley Cup finals... but they've got a way to go yet.
Anyway, this meant it was nearly 10:00 before I was back in my room, which meant I didn't spend all evening on the internet, but rather, I had a good time hobnobbing with my fellow seminarians.
Today I got up at 9:30, which gave me just enough time to get going and have brunch before taking off to 11:00 Mass, and with the inclusion of baptisms and First Communions at Mass, I was back at seminary just in time to take off again at 12:30, to spend the afternoon doing not much of anything at Sierra's. And by "not much of anything" I mean a fair bit of talking, ingesting cold beverages/ice cream/dandelion leaves, and sunburning my right forearm (it is a well-toasted red on the top, and a paisley white on the underside).
Then it was back to the seminary just in time for supper, to be eaten in the TV room watching Stargate Atlantis. And then back here for an evening of internetting... and maybe--maybe!--some writing. That has been my one failure this weekend, to in any way get myself to do some writing. Ah well... at least I can look back on this weekend at not shudder at the memory of "pleading to Heaven for relief" boredom.
Actually, it's kind of funny that such is the case, since I really didn't do anything either this afternoon or yesterday afternoon. In both cases, I pretty much just sat around and did nothing. It's amazing what a difference a change in scenery and company makes.
This weekend, however, I planned ahead Friday afternoon and booked myself for a couple considerable chunks of the weekend.
Saturday morning I got up nice and late, late enough that I really just had time to get myself running before it was off to my uncle's for the afternoon. I didn't actually do much there during the afternoon... I read the newspaper, had lunch, chatted a bit with my uncle, and played with my five-year-old cousin, and was then back at the seminary just before supper.
Supper was followed by two episodes of the Simpsons, since it was far too early to retire to my room and sit at the Internet, and that meant I was on site when everyone turned up to watch the Senators game. It was a good game, with the Senators winning 5-3, and fortunately not getting kicked out of the Stanley Cup finals... but they've got a way to go yet.
Anyway, this meant it was nearly 10:00 before I was back in my room, which meant I didn't spend all evening on the internet, but rather, I had a good time hobnobbing with my fellow seminarians.
Today I got up at 9:30, which gave me just enough time to get going and have brunch before taking off to 11:00 Mass, and with the inclusion of baptisms and First Communions at Mass, I was back at seminary just in time to take off again at 12:30, to spend the afternoon doing not much of anything at Sierra's. And by "not much of anything" I mean a fair bit of talking, ingesting cold beverages/ice cream/dandelion leaves, and sunburning my right forearm (it is a well-toasted red on the top, and a paisley white on the underside).
Then it was back to the seminary just in time for supper, to be eaten in the TV room watching Stargate Atlantis. And then back here for an evening of internetting... and maybe--maybe!--some writing. That has been my one failure this weekend, to in any way get myself to do some writing. Ah well... at least I can look back on this weekend at not shudder at the memory of "pleading to Heaven for relief" boredom.
Actually, it's kind of funny that such is the case, since I really didn't do anything either this afternoon or yesterday afternoon. In both cases, I pretty much just sat around and did nothing. It's amazing what a difference a change in scenery and company makes.
Friday, June 01, 2007
"Lay Ecclesial Ministry"
Today, instead of working, I attended a workshop (erm... I think that's what it was...) for "Lay Ecclesial Ministers", which apparently is becoming the preferred term for a broad range of people who serve the church while not being ordained or having taken vows. Specifically, this was for those who are employed by the Church as such, and thus was a collection of various Pastoral Associates, Secretaries, Youth Ministers... and whatnot.
I, although technically a layman, was not really there because I fit the above description. I was there because my boss, as Archivist, was attending on and off in order to educate these parish workers as to the care and preservation of various old churchy artefacts, as well as taking in the talks. I was encouraged to do the same if I wanted, and I did. I originally only intended to be there for the first bit, prayer with the Archbishop and the first talk. I ended staying all day, mainly because it was more interesting than work, and less work.
The talks focused, basically, on the identity and the vocation of being a lay ecclesial minister, as opposed to just employees, on the spiritual side of serving the church as an employee, and not just the functional side.
In an educational sense, it was good for me I suppose insofar as it makes me aware of a facet of what my life will be like as a priest, since these are the sorts of people, if not the very people, I'll be working with most of my life, and it highlighted some of the ways to make that as smooth a relationship as possible.
It felt weird being there, though, considering that I'm a seminarian. It's not that I felt unwelcome, but I definitely had a sense of being apart. It's natural, I suppose, since it was for the people who work and collaborate with priests--but who are NOT priests or religious. Whereas I, on the other hand, am aiming at being one of said priests.
I don't know... it was a bit odd. Good, certainly, but odd.
One exercise they put us through, that I think my table at least got a lot out of, was pinpointing what our gifts are. Gifts, in this case, being defined as things that we naturally ARE, things that don't take any effort, but just come naturally, as opposed to Talents, things that we can learn or develop. (While there is some overlap, an example here would be the difference between being musical and being able to play the piano. The first is a gift, which comes with who someone is. The second is a talent, developed over time.)
It was very interesting, sitting there with a table of people I'd never met before that morning, being able to pick out some of the gifts these people have, right away. It's amazing how some things are immediately apparent. With me, I was told that I give the immediate impression of honesty. Most of the table agreed that I gave the impression of "he'd be a good seminarian" before they met me and learned I'd be a priest. One said that I had a nice smile (perhaps the comment I found most surprising). I guess I'm also really good at reading people....
I think the whole table was flattered at the gifts picked out for them; I know I was with mine. Within the wider context of why we were figuring these things out, it came down to trying to figure out if our jobs are ones in which our gifts, and not just our trained talents, are being utilised--because those are the jobs where you'd be happiest.
Well, thinking over my own gifts, I came up with this list (which is neither necessarily comprehensive, or necessarily accurate): I'm mature, I love knowledge, I love being around people, I'm not a polarising character (people may not care for me, but I don't think I inspire hatred or strong dislike). According to Fr. Marco, I'm a leader. I'm not entirely sure, but I have reason to think that I'm easy to confide in. I know I'm good at keeping things to myself. I was told I'm good at reading people.
Are those gifts that I could exercise as a priest? I think so. Is that a good sign? Definitely.
I'm really inclined to think that, in the cosmic scheme of things, the reason for me to have attended the whole thing today was to reaffirm my vocation. Really, it boosted my spirits like you can't imagine being told I seem like a perfect fit for a seminarian, and that I'll be a good priest.
I, although technically a layman, was not really there because I fit the above description. I was there because my boss, as Archivist, was attending on and off in order to educate these parish workers as to the care and preservation of various old churchy artefacts, as well as taking in the talks. I was encouraged to do the same if I wanted, and I did. I originally only intended to be there for the first bit, prayer with the Archbishop and the first talk. I ended staying all day, mainly because it was more interesting than work, and less work.
The talks focused, basically, on the identity and the vocation of being a lay ecclesial minister, as opposed to just employees, on the spiritual side of serving the church as an employee, and not just the functional side.
In an educational sense, it was good for me I suppose insofar as it makes me aware of a facet of what my life will be like as a priest, since these are the sorts of people, if not the very people, I'll be working with most of my life, and it highlighted some of the ways to make that as smooth a relationship as possible.
It felt weird being there, though, considering that I'm a seminarian. It's not that I felt unwelcome, but I definitely had a sense of being apart. It's natural, I suppose, since it was for the people who work and collaborate with priests--but who are NOT priests or religious. Whereas I, on the other hand, am aiming at being one of said priests.
I don't know... it was a bit odd. Good, certainly, but odd.
One exercise they put us through, that I think my table at least got a lot out of, was pinpointing what our gifts are. Gifts, in this case, being defined as things that we naturally ARE, things that don't take any effort, but just come naturally, as opposed to Talents, things that we can learn or develop. (While there is some overlap, an example here would be the difference between being musical and being able to play the piano. The first is a gift, which comes with who someone is. The second is a talent, developed over time.)
It was very interesting, sitting there with a table of people I'd never met before that morning, being able to pick out some of the gifts these people have, right away. It's amazing how some things are immediately apparent. With me, I was told that I give the immediate impression of honesty. Most of the table agreed that I gave the impression of "he'd be a good seminarian" before they met me and learned I'd be a priest. One said that I had a nice smile (perhaps the comment I found most surprising). I guess I'm also really good at reading people....
I think the whole table was flattered at the gifts picked out for them; I know I was with mine. Within the wider context of why we were figuring these things out, it came down to trying to figure out if our jobs are ones in which our gifts, and not just our trained talents, are being utilised--because those are the jobs where you'd be happiest.
Well, thinking over my own gifts, I came up with this list (which is neither necessarily comprehensive, or necessarily accurate): I'm mature, I love knowledge, I love being around people, I'm not a polarising character (people may not care for me, but I don't think I inspire hatred or strong dislike). According to Fr. Marco, I'm a leader. I'm not entirely sure, but I have reason to think that I'm easy to confide in. I know I'm good at keeping things to myself. I was told I'm good at reading people.
Are those gifts that I could exercise as a priest? I think so. Is that a good sign? Definitely.
I'm really inclined to think that, in the cosmic scheme of things, the reason for me to have attended the whole thing today was to reaffirm my vocation. Really, it boosted my spirits like you can't imagine being told I seem like a perfect fit for a seminarian, and that I'll be a good priest.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)