Like a White-washed Sepulchre

So I could easily go on about the "great difficulties" of term finals... but apart from having all my finals crowded to the end of the exam period, leaving me with a week more time in Edmonton than I need or want, I really don't have any "difficulties", and I don't really want to talk about such things at the moment.

Though they may well be less boring than what I will talk about. But hey! This is my blog, and if you want interesting or amusing, visit the LJ account, and ready the memes...

Anyway, my chosen introspectively boring topic of the night is personal perceptions.

I was chatting with Enca this afternoon, for the first time--an enjoyable experience I might add. I love people who appreciate my humour. We even had a nice, deep, conversation about the serious importance of blasphemy.

I got to thinking, though, partly as a result of conversation, about the different personas we project. To paraphrase myself earlier this week (and I apologise in advance for the egoistic outlook), most people see me as a nice guy, a smart guy. I'm honest, I'm reliable, I'm smart, I'm witty, I know my Bible and Catechism, I project an air of humility (oh... how ironic!), I know where I'm going in life, I get along with people, I like being around them...

You get the idea. I seem to be a nice guy. And, I'd say, I'm probably about as un-messed-up as humans come.

But if you think I've got nothing to work on... boy. Are you wrong.

It doesn't come across online. Of course not. I'm definitely a good writer, and fairly good at public relations. What you see is definitely the real me- but it's the parts of the real me that I want to show. The tired, temperamental, prejudicial, arrogant, lazy, slippery character... well, I try to keep him locked up.

Same with in person, in public. And it comes across, for sure. The psychologist picked up on it in my seminary evalutation (and said it's a good thing, so long as one doesn't go overboard). Most people, when meeting me, have an initial impression of someone who's reserved- or even standoffish.

My point though, is that I am not perfect. Nor do I think anybody is. We all present our best face to the world. It takes a certain kind of foolishness or saintliness to be able to expose ourselves to all and sundry. The closer we are to someone, the more of our true selves we show, the more of our guard we let down.

But sometimes we show different personas in similar situations. Take this blog and my LJ, for example. They are both genuinely me, but where this is an introspective, often rambling, the LJ is me at my humourous flippant (well, I hope it is). It's me relaxing, being silly. Other than the address, the difference is...

Pretty much just my mood, really. I think the audience overlap is pretty close.

We definitely tailor our image to fit our idea of the person or people we are talking to. My conversation with Enca was not one I'd have with Lhuna. The same topics, maybe... but not quite the same me. And neither conversation would be the same as one I would have with Rune.

I have no real point to all this... no criticism, insight, or idea from this. Just the rambling thought of an intrigued observer.