Mid-Month Meanderings

It is 10:00 at night, and I have a while before my laundry is dry, and I've exhausted all the usual websites, and I've been ambitious enough for one night, as far as fiction writing is concerned, and I've even gone for a half hour walk (ambitious exercise for sedentary me), so I've finally, after two weeks of thinking about it, got the necessary motivation to put down a few thoughts in the old blog.

First of all, it occurred to me today, as I ate supper sitting in an easy chair in my bedroom, reading what happened on Werewolf since I died, that I have all the makings of being an excellent bachelor. I'm a bit particular, rather eccentric, lax in my housekeeping habits, and inclined toward creature comforts. All I need is perhaps a bit less LEGO around my bedroom and you've got the makings of a very bachelor-esque appearance.

Secondly, in further thoughts resulting from my trip down to Idaho, it occurs to me that, most unfairly, I am pretty much incapable of hosting any sort of a recipient visit--from anybody. I simply do not have the property to put anybody up, and it's a pretty sorry tale when you invite someone and say "well, I'm glad to have you and all, but I can't offer you a place to stay... but if you want to pay $100 a night, there's a hotel just down the street..."

Now, it's not that Edmonton is particularly exotic, and as far as being likely to be visited, I am expecting exactly zero Barrow-downers to turn up at my door. If nothing else, I lack a nice central location from which others can be visited. Instead, I'm really on the fringe of the continent, 'Downerwise. The west is sparsely populated to begin with, and I'm on the northern end (not as far north as the Alaskans... but they're quite, quite a bit to the west of here). If someone were to visit, they'd pretty much have to be just here to visit me.

It's the principle of the matter, really. What this is really indicative of is the completeness with which my life is handed over to the service of God's people. By living at the seminary, and at the rectory in the summer, I'm no longer my own person--and I'm no longer my own host. Looked at this way, it's easy enough to reconcile myself to the idea that I likely won't have any guests for quite some time (let's say ten years... it might be that long ere I have my own parish).

At the same time, it really does make an excellent excuse for me foisting myself on other 'downers, and right now I'm still travel-bug-bitten enough that this is a good thing from my point of view.

Thirdly, also 'Downer-related... in my earlier attempts this evening to avoid work, I was reading a conversation between Lommy and Nilp on Facebook, and was somewhat envious of the fact that they have 'Downer siblings. I felt, oddly, quite alone. This is nonsense, of course, since I have a larger family than pretty much every 'Downers I know, and I've got a good relationship with all of them, and plenty of shared interests, including Tolkien. But it's a mark of how much the 'Downs figures into my mental landscape to see that the lack of "real" family there matters to me. Perhaps this is why I've adopted a little sister (well... among other reasons, if so). It's an established fact about myself that I've discovered: I really like family, and tend to put those dear to me into the mental boxes, anyway, of family members, and as recipients of the same loyalty.